A Spark of that phase

  Okay... Even Surroundings are murmuring but I'm okay with my own company; No doubt. It's indifferently different thing that sometimes i need People or atleast one person around me to have some gossips for a night and to spend some quality times but my inner me fights with me all time and i lost the war everytime so I'm pretending just to stay out of the surroundings. Surroundings are those you know me the amount of how much i allowed them to know me. I avoid.
  It's not like i don't have friends, well-wishers, connections; ofcourse they are with whom i can hangout but my inner Vibes and instincts doesn't make me feel to ask or say yes to them whenever they ask. I never wanted having Quantities like number of people for me or with me,But desperately i needed one person for sure with qualities like i can feel comfortable,soulfree, cheerful,free to talk about what I feel deep inside and also i can reduce my hypertension, anxiety and etcetera etcetera... With that person I feel safe everywhere no matter how much scary that place would be;I can be very loyal to myself and will enjoy the whole vibes if that one person would be sitting beside me.(It is Just an imagination I'm webbing inside my head to balance the chaos of thoughts that hit differently).
   Behind the curtain covered with darkness I use to be fake when My mates,my friends,my homies who always ask me to have fun and enjoy someday, sometimes but i always denied by faking them that i feel happy with my own only,I enjoy myself and I don't want hush and rush around me but deep down i know how i need someone desparately to be with me that we might have gossips, fooding,binge watch any series or may be movies we can search for.
 I assume, it's not easy for anyone to stay out of people or keeping people away in a loop days.Its tough ,it's very tough task that i don't want it but I'm promoting it. And will promote it until i become strong enough and get found that one person who i deserve. “All things are going in a flow like 'a boat in the river' and I'm the only paddle for all those floating things”.
  

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